So Many Emotions

So many emotions in so little time.  The last week has blown by like a whirlwind when in reality I just wanted it to slow down and never end.  Last week the kids and I had an awesome time.  On Tuesday my friends Nickie and Misty came over for lunch and to visit.  Misty brought along her sweet little girl Neely.  The kids played and I had an awesome time visiting with them.  It had been way to long since we had done that.  It's amazing to me that we can go for months at a time without talking and pick up like we left off yesterday.  Through thick and thin the three of us have always been there to support the other when it is needed the most.  I spent the next few days of the week soaking up as much time as I could with all the kids.  On Friday I took a little time out for me and did some shopping and that was a lot of fun.  One of the few times I have left Maddox since he was born for anything.  On Saturday we spent a wonderful day at home, just the five of us.  Cory and I worked in the yard and got a lot accomplished.  Sunday was another busy day.  Cory had a baseball game that afternoon.  Lexi and Zachary had their derby car race for Awana's at church that evening.  They both made great looking cars and did a good job.  Zachary let me snap a picture of him and his car.  A tank in honor of his Aunt Amber.  Sunday evening after we got home  we rushed to get Lexi packed for Church camp as she was leaving first thing Monday morning.  Cory had gone to work that night and as the kids were going to bed the reality set in.  On Monday morning it was time to go back to work. My fourteen wonderful weeks at home had come to an end.  Don't get me wrong I love my job and the people that I work with, they are some amazing women.  As I sat there and held Maddox as he fell asleep I completely fell apart.  When the other kids were young I really had no desire to be a stay at home mom.  As soon as I finished school I wanted to take on the world.  I realized this time around just how much of their little lives I missed by doing so.  I can't explain what has changed or why.  The battle of  is being a stay at home mom better than being a working mom has gone on for decades.  Who really knows which is right.  I think there are positives to both situation.  I finally managed to get my things ready for work and lay down in bed.  Needless to say I didn't get much sleep.  The next morning my mom arrived to stay with the kids and get Lexi off to camp.  I held Maddox as long as I could before I had to leave.  As he looked up at me with that huge smile and his big blue eyes my heart broke all over again.  How could I leave this previous angel?  I finally managed to tear myself away head for the office.  Once there I was of course greeted with a warm welcome from the girls. We talked and got caught up for a while.  As I retreated into my cubicle all I could think about was Maddox.  I cried several times off an on throughout the day.  I called at lunch time to check on him.  Of course he was being perfect.  I watched in the afternoon as it felt like the time stood still.  Five O'clock could not get there soon enough.  As soon as it did I raced out the door to pick him and Zachary up.  Once we got home all I could do was cuddle with the boys.  I didn't want to do anything else.  Cory finally got home around 9pm and I was still holding Maddox while he was sleeping.  Long after his usually 8pm bedtime.  We talked about all of the emotions that I was having.  I'm sure this feeling is completely normal.  My only reassurance is that when I leave in the mornings Maddox is with his wonderful Nana or his Daddy.  I can't even imagine what yesterday would have been like if I would have had to drop him off at daycare.  I am pretty sure I would not have made it through the day.  Today was a little better as I was busier and didn't have time to dwell.  Daddy sent me a picture of Maddox this afternoon just to ease my mind.  I know that Maddox will always know that I love him no matter what.  Hopefully the roller coaster will slow down soon.  Tomorrow is Wednesday and that is one day closer to the weekend.  It's funny that I used to count down the days to the weekend because I was overwhelmed at work or exhausted from burning the fire at every end possible.  So now I count down the days until I can have the whole day with the kids again to just snuggle and play.  Those are truly the happiest days of my life.  So what are your thoughts of which is best and why?  Any suggestions on how to get over the guilt I feel for leaving them everyday? 

Maddox having Tummy Time

Zachary and his awesome Tank

Baseball

This week has been one crazy week with baseball.  Zachary's baseball team The Scrappers finished the regular season tied for 3rd place.  They then advanced to the city tournament.  They lost their first 2 games in the tournament so they are done.  Zachary did a great year this year in baseball and has come such a long way since last year.  He is taking after his daddy and is becoming a heck of a ball player.  He started off the season playing short stop and then played 1st base for the 2nd half of the season.  Zachary also made the Cooper All-Star team which is awesome.  Only 12 boys were selected for this team from all of the teams for his age group.  Zachary is very excited to get started with All-Stars as he has several friends from school and his football team that will be playing with him.  They will travel around the Lubbock area and play other All-Star teams from the different leagues. Cory also had his first baseball game this past weekend.  The Pirates tied their first game 1-1 after eight inning of play.  Here are a few pictures of Zachary and one of Cory.  Thanks to Mike Dalby for taking pictures at the Pirates Game!

So busy.....

Well, this week blew by faster than I ever expected.  It was the last week of school for the kids.  They had lots of activities and awards and such.  Zachary had his awards ceremony on Tuesday where he received an award for A/B honor roll.  Zachary did a great job this year and he is sad for the year to end as several of his friends from his class are moving away.  Lexi's awards were on Wednesday and as usually she hit it out of the park.  She received an award for attendance, A/B honor roll, UIL competition (she competed in Music Memory)  and she also received an award for scoring Commended on each of the 3 TAKS tests that she took this year (Reading, Science and Math).  This is the 3rd year in a row that she has scored commended on every TAKS test she has taken.  She is ready to take on Junior High.  Not sure that her father and I are though.  Wednesday was also my birthday :)  Wednesday evening I took the kids to a Mini-Session photo shoot by Cassandra who does an amazing job.  One of the pictures is down below.  It's the first real picture I have of all 3 of the kids together.  I can't wait until later his summer when we do a full shoot with them.  After that we hustled to Zachary's baseball game.  I am happy to say that Zachary hit a triple in the bottom of the 5th inning with time expired to bring in 2 runs and win the game for his team.  Zachary has done an amazing job this year and just keeps getting better and better.  On Thursday Cory had his big test at work.  He has been studying for the Lieutenant's test for the last 5 months.  When all was said and done he did a great job and was #6 on the list.  From all indications it appears that he will promote sometime later in the year or early next year.  We are all so excited for him and we know that he is relieved that it is over.  Today we got a surprise call from my sister Amber who is away at Army boot camp.  She finished her hardest and most challenging task this morning and participated in her Right of Passage Ceremony.  She sounded awesome and is looking forward to graduation next week.  After that she heads straight to Arizona for her AIT training.  We rounded out the evening with a good home cooked meal and are getting ready to call it a night. 

Moving Fast

It seems at times that I look up at my children and wonder where time went.  Last night was one of these times.  Lexi had her 5th grade musical "Pirates".  They all did an amazing job.  As I sat there and watched I remembered her very first school musical in Kindergarten  when she was dressed as a cute little bug.  I can't believe that so much time has past.  She is growing quickly into a beautiful young woman.  Next week marks the end of  her Elementary School days and ahead are the days of Junior High.  She has started to hit the stage where most days mom and dad aren't cool and she doesn't really tell us much of anything.  The days where  she talks to us on Facebook despite that we live in the same house.  It makes me sad for myself and excited for her.  Lexi is so incredibly smart and I can't wait to see where life leads her.  As I went to be last night I layed and watched Maddox sleep.  I realized just how fast time goes by.  Then, as I was sleeping I was awakened to a weak sound of "MOM"  from across the house.  It was Lexi.  She was sick.  In that moment all she wanted was Mommy to hold an comfort her.  In a weird way her being sick was almost a blessing.  It reminded me that no matter how big she gets or how uncool she thinks we are, she will always need us at different times in her life for different reasons.   Lexi we Love you!  Here are a few pictures from her play last night.  The first one is Lexi posing for the camera, the second is her and her best friend Brooke.  They sure are cute Pirates.

10 Weeks

Today Maddox is 10 weeks old.  I really can't believe how fast this time has gone by.  I only have a few more weeks with him before I have to go back to work.   I have enjoyed being home with him so much.  Last week at his 2 month check up he weighed in at 12lbs 3oz and was 23 inches long.  He has gained 4lbs and grown 2 inches since he was born.  He has already started to show his personality.  He smiles from ear to ear the majority of his time awake.  He has started to roll over from his stomach to his back.  He is also doing great with his head control and is enjoying his tummy time everyday.  We are all completely in love with this little guy.  Here is a picture of him taken this morning.

Just Getting Started

Well I have been trying to think of a way to document the happenings in the kids lives.  I enjoy a few blogs from some of our friends and have decided to give it a try.  Life has been pretty busy for us.  Lexi and Zachary are growing like crazy and in March we added #3.  Maddox Christopher McLaurin was born on March 8th.   He has been such a blessing. Here's a picture of the little guy