Thursday, September 8, 2011

6 Months

Happy 1/2 Birthday to Maddox!  I can't believe that he is already 6 months old.  He is getting so big and his personality is shinning just as big.  He is smiles from ear to ear all day.  The sweet little thing has won so many hearts.

Life has been so incredibly busy.  I had to go to Austin to a training the week before school started.  Cory, the kids and his sister Kristy met me there on Wednesday of that week.  We had a great visit with Cory's dad who moved to the Austin area in March.  After I got out of class on Friday we made a mad dash to San Antonio.  Zachary wanted to be sure and take in the Alamo.  We visited there several years ago but he didn't remember.  We also got to visit with my Aunt Judy and Uncle Rick.  It was great seeing them and I'm so glad they got to meet Maddox.  And of course we took a trip to Sea World.  The kids had fun but it was so hot.  I have to say Maddox was a Super Trooper that day.  He did awesome! 

School started back with a bang.   Zachary started 3rd grade and Lexi started Junior High this year.  Zach is already in full swing with football practice and has his first game next week. Cory is helping coach this year and I am playing the role as team mom again this year.  Needless to say it is keeping us very busy.  Lexi started band this year and is practicing hard on her new flute.  All in all we are settling in.  Cory is happy to have a little bit of a break.  Maddox was scheduled to start daycare after the kids went back to school but we made the decision to keep him home.  We just couldn't let him go.  So he will continue to hang out with Daddy on his days off and his wonderful Nana keeps him on the days that both Mommy and Daddy have to work.  It is so cute to see the way he lights up when he sees his Daddy.  Just like myself Cory didn't get much time with the other kids when they were little as it seemed like we worked all the time so I think it's great that he is getting it this time. 

And just in case you missed the announcement.....we are expecting again!  Maddox is going to be a big brother in early March.  Crazy to think that in less than 6 months we will be holding another beautiful blessing.  We will find out the sex in just a few weeks.   The boys of course would be happy with another boy.  Lexi is pleading for a little sister.  And of course the only thing that really matters is that the baby is healthy.  We will for sure update as soon as we know. 

So sorry it has taken me this long to update....I am really disappointed in myself.  Hopefully we will get into the swing of things and I can find time soon.  Here are a few random pictures from the last month or so.  May God Bless You All!


First Day of School 2011-2012

Maddox sharing a nap with his sweet cousin Helen Kate

Maddox at 6 months.  He loves looking at himself in the mirror. 

Sunday, July 24, 2011

A Quick Catch Up

Wow!  I can't believe it has been almost 3 weeks since my last blog.  Not sure where to even start.....
The weekend of the 9th and 10th was a busy one around our house.  I helped host my sister Kristen's baby shower at our house that Saturday.  She had a great turn out and got lots of goodies.  We also had lots of family come in from out of town for the occasion.  Many of whom got to see Maddox for the first time.  We spent the weekend visiting and just enjoying the time.   We are so excited to meet baby Helen Kate in just 3 more weeks.  The next Tuesday we had Maddox's 4 month old pictures.  I can't believe he is already 4 months old.  He did an awesome job and we got a few shots with Lexi and Zachary as well.  The next morning Zachary left to go to church camp.  He was really excited to go and has been sharing all his fun camp stories since he returned.  That weekend we had a family reunion on Cory's side of the family.  It was fun to see some of his cousins that we haven't seen in a while.  This last week the kids have had Vacation Bible School every evening so they have also enjoyed that.  It has been pretty a pretty hectic schedule.  Zachary is finishing up his flag football league with the Tournament being this coming weekend.  I can't believe it but it is almost time for school to start again.  We also got to talk to my sister Amber for a few minutes this week.  Looks like her next Duty Station is going to be in Washington.  At least she will get to see some trees and hopefully some rain when she gets there.  Well I promise I will try to get a blog in at least once a week.  Here are some random pictures from the last few week.
Zachary and his cousin Ashton ready to leave for Church Camp!

Lexi and Smokey

Maddox always smiling :)



Monday, July 4, 2011

Swim Time

Well as you know it has been HOT and I mean HOT, HOT, HOT in Lubbock for several weeks know.  We have been so consumed with baseball for a while that we have had little time to do anything else.  Well yesterday we decided that we were going to beat the heat and take the kids swimming.This would be Maddox's first time swimming.  I was a little nervous that he wouldn't enjoy it, but we decided to give it a shot anyways.  Lexi and Zachary had a blast as always splashing around and going down the slide. Maddox though was amazing....He loved the water.  We bought him a little floatie that you can sit in.  For the first little bit he layed in it like it was a lounge chair.  It has a sun shade to keep him out of the direct son.  We swam and played for an hour like that without any problems.  After that he took a bottle and napped for the next hour or so.  Then it was time to jump back in the pool.  This time we sat him with his feet through the holes upright.  Wow did he have fun.  We were having so much fun that we forgot to take a picture of this part.  He was kicking his little feet and screeching with excitement for another hour.  I have never seen a baby his age have as much fun as he did.  I have been trying to convince Cory for almost 2 years that we need a pool... A nice in ground pool of course.  Well this may have just done the trick.  He has been looking at pool's since last night.  Here are a few pics from yesterday.


Saturday, July 2, 2011

Healing

It seems as though we have gotten into the swing of things.   The routine is getting a little easier every day.  At times I feel myself getting complacent.  We all get comfortable with our routines and our surroundings.  I know each and everyday that God has blessed us in so many ways but often forget just how much .  First I am blessed to have an amazing husband.  I could not ask for a more devoted husband.  He would go to the ends of the earth for me and our children.  That is truly something to be thankful for.  Second we have our beautiful children.  To think that we have been hand picked to be the parents of these 3 amazing children.  Nothing could be more humbling.  I also remember daily my Angel Bailey who passed 13 years ago.  To think it has been so long and yet some days it feels like only yesterday.  I don't think  I could have ever grasped how his passing would effect me and my future when it happened.  It's something I rarely talk about.  We have always been open with the kids about their brother in Heaven.  It seems like the most random times when their curiosity gets to them and they start to ask questions or inquire about him.  There are times when they are asking questions about him and I can see their lips moving but I can't hear a word they are saying.  In those moments all I can see are those painful memories of losing a child that I wish no one ever had to experience.  The times when someone asks Zachary how many siblings he has and he responds without any hesitation " I have one sister, one brother and one brother in heaven."  It hurts my heart that they suffer the loss of a sibling they never knew.  They talk about heaven a lot and about everyone that is watching over them, protecting our family.  I know that Bailey is up there watching over all 3 of his siblings.  There are times in my life when that pain is so fresh and raw.  One of those days came recently.  A friend of mine posted a blog that she had recently began following.  It was the story of a mother who just lost her daughter to SIDS.  A beautiful family dealing with the worst pain in the world.  As I sat an read her story I knew it would cause me pain.  Yet  I kept reading....the more I read the more I wept.  Our stories were not the same but we had both lost a child. She too was now a mother without her child.  A group I wish no mother had to be a part of.  I read for hours, the story of how she met her husband, their battle with infertility, the birth of their first born child and then just 4 months later their worst nightmare.  It made me confronte a lot of raw emotions that I had hidden away for years.  All the while holding my newborn baby boy. I felt the grief all over again.  11 years ago I held Lexi in my arms for the very first time on the same day that my cousin was laying her daughter to rest.  That sense of why them, why me etc.  I for that moment understood how my friends had felt 2 years before when Bailey went to heaven.  The guilt that they were holding their child and I could not hold mine.  For weeks I have been following her story as well as several others.  Mothers who use their blogs as an outlet for their raw emotions, a place to feel comforted and a place to share their story.  They say it is therapeutic and in just writing this I understand why.  Losing a child is something that a parent will never forget.  After it happens others treat you as if you are damaged.  They don't know what to say.  Often times you hear things like "I'm so sorry or I don't know how you could go on I would just die or they are in a better place.  Let me offer the biggest piece of advice to others.  The only thing these parents want is to be treated the same.  Hug them, tell them you love them, pray for them and just be there for them.  In the end that is all they need.  It is an individual journey of healing and as you can tell some journey's take a lot longer than others.  So yes we all get comfortable, we all get complacent but we shouldn't.  We should treasure each day with our children no matter what that days has in store.  I  am vowing now to stop everyday and take just one more picture, read one more book to my boys, share a little extra girl time with Lexi.  Just soak it all in.  We are not promised tomorrow, we only have today and the memories of the days before.  Below is a picture from a couple who started to write Angel babies names in the beautiful sands as a remembrance  for other families after losing a child of their own.  These pictures are beautiful just like the children we have lost.  I love you Bailey, Lexi, Zachary and Maddox.  You are my greatest gift.



Tuesday, June 14, 2011

So Many Emotions

So many emotions in so little time.  The last week has blown by like a whirlwind when in reality I just wanted it to slow down and never end.  Last week the kids and I had an awesome time.  On Tuesday my friends Nickie and Misty came over for lunch and to visit.  Misty brought along her sweet little girl Neely.  The kids played and I had an awesome time visiting with them.  It had been way to long since we had done that.  It's amazing to me that we can go for months at a time without talking and pick up like we left off yesterday.  Through thick and thin the three of us have always been there to support the other when it is needed the most.  I spent the next few days of the week soaking up as much time as I could with all the kids.  On Friday I took a little time out for me and did some shopping and that was a lot of fun.  One of the few times I have left Maddox since he was born for anything.  On Saturday we spent a wonderful day at home, just the five of us.  Cory and I worked in the yard and got a lot accomplished.  Sunday was another busy day.  Cory had a baseball game that afternoon.  Lexi and Zachary had their derby car race for Awana's at church that evening.  They both made great looking cars and did a good job.  Zachary let me snap a picture of him and his car.  A tank in honor of his Aunt Amber.  Sunday evening after we got home  we rushed to get Lexi packed for Church camp as she was leaving first thing Monday morning.  Cory had gone to work that night and as the kids were going to bed the reality set in.  On Monday morning it was time to go back to work. My fourteen wonderful weeks at home had come to an end.  Don't get me wrong I love my job and the people that I work with, they are some amazing women.  As I sat there and held Maddox as he fell asleep I completely fell apart.  When the other kids were young I really had no desire to be a stay at home mom.  As soon as I finished school I wanted to take on the world.  I realized this time around just how much of their little lives I missed by doing so.  I can't explain what has changed or why.  The battle of  is being a stay at home mom better than being a working mom has gone on for decades.  Who really knows which is right.  I think there are positives to both situation.  I finally managed to get my things ready for work and lay down in bed.  Needless to say I didn't get much sleep.  The next morning my mom arrived to stay with the kids and get Lexi off to camp.  I held Maddox as long as I could before I had to leave.  As he looked up at me with that huge smile and his big blue eyes my heart broke all over again.  How could I leave this previous angel?  I finally managed to tear myself away head for the office.  Once there I was of course greeted with a warm welcome from the girls. We talked and got caught up for a while.  As I retreated into my cubicle all I could think about was Maddox.  I cried several times off an on throughout the day.  I called at lunch time to check on him.  Of course he was being perfect.  I watched in the afternoon as it felt like the time stood still.  Five O'clock could not get there soon enough.  As soon as it did I raced out the door to pick him and Zachary up.  Once we got home all I could do was cuddle with the boys.  I didn't want to do anything else.  Cory finally got home around 9pm and I was still holding Maddox while he was sleeping.  Long after his usually 8pm bedtime.  We talked about all of the emotions that I was having.  I'm sure this feeling is completely normal.  My only reassurance is that when I leave in the mornings Maddox is with his wonderful Nana or his Daddy.  I can't even imagine what yesterday would have been like if I would have had to drop him off at daycare.  I am pretty sure I would not have made it through the day.  Today was a little better as I was busier and didn't have time to dwell.  Daddy sent me a picture of Maddox this afternoon just to ease my mind.  I know that Maddox will always know that I love him no matter what.  Hopefully the roller coaster will slow down soon.  Tomorrow is Wednesday and that is one day closer to the weekend.  It's funny that I used to count down the days to the weekend because I was overwhelmed at work or exhausted from burning the fire at every end possible.  So now I count down the days until I can have the whole day with the kids again to just snuggle and play.  Those are truly the happiest days of my life.  So what are your thoughts of which is best and why?  Any suggestions on how to get over the guilt I feel for leaving them everyday? 
Maddox having Tummy Time

Zachary and his awesome Tank

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Baseball

This week has been one crazy week with baseball.  Zachary's baseball team The Scrappers finished the regular season tied for 3rd place.  They then advanced to the city tournament.  They lost their first 2 games in the tournament so they are done.  Zachary did a great year this year in baseball and has come such a long way since last year.  He is taking after his daddy and is becoming a heck of a ball player.  He started off the season playing short stop and then played 1st base for the 2nd half of the season.  Zachary also made the Cooper All-Star team which is awesome.  Only 12 boys were selected for this team from all of the teams for his age group.  Zachary is very excited to get started with All-Stars as he has several friends from school and his football team that will be playing with him.  They will travel around the Lubbock area and play other All-Star teams from the different leagues. Cory also had his first baseball game this past weekend.  The Pirates tied their first game 1-1 after eight inning of play.  Here are a few pictures of Zachary and one of Cory.  Thanks to Mike Dalby for taking pictures at the Pirates Game!


Friday, May 27, 2011

So busy.....

Well, this week blew by faster than I ever expected.  It was the last week of school for the kids.  They had lots of activities and awards and such.  Zachary had his awards ceremony on Tuesday where he received an award for A/B honor roll.  Zachary did a great job this year and he is sad for the year to end as several of his friends from his class are moving away.  Lexi's awards were on Wednesday and as usually she hit it out of the park.  She received an award for attendance, A/B honor roll, UIL competition (she competed in Music Memory)  and she also received an award for scoring Commended on each of the 3 TAKS tests that she took this year (Reading, Science and Math).  This is the 3rd year in a row that she has scored commended on every TAKS test she has taken.  She is ready to take on Junior High.  Not sure that her father and I are though.  Wednesday was also my birthday :)  Wednesday evening I took the kids to a Mini-Session photo shoot by Cassandra who does an amazing job.  One of the pictures is down below.  It's the first real picture I have of all 3 of the kids together.  I can't wait until later his summer when we do a full shoot with them.  After that we hustled to Zachary's baseball game.  I am happy to say that Zachary hit a triple in the bottom of the 5th inning with time expired to bring in 2 runs and win the game for his team.  Zachary has done an amazing job this year and just keeps getting better and better.  On Thursday Cory had his big test at work.  He has been studying for the Lieutenant's test for the last 5 months.  When all was said and done he did a great job and was #6 on the list.  From all indications it appears that he will promote sometime later in the year or early next year.  We are all so excited for him and we know that he is relieved that it is over.  Today we got a surprise call from my sister Amber who is away at Army boot camp.  She finished her hardest and most challenging task this morning and participated in her Right of Passage Ceremony.  She sounded awesome and is looking forward to graduation next week.  After that she heads straight to Arizona for her AIT training.  We rounded out the evening with a good home cooked meal and are getting ready to call it a night.